Dear family and friends,
Just wanted to let you know we've not perished up here in Alaska. What a beautiful place to be. You should see my backyard. I mean literally. This is the view from our backyard. Now doesn't that call you to worship?
It's been a little over seven weeks which is hard to believe. We had prepared for Ed's new job, set expectations. It always takes a while to really settle in to a new job. What I seemed to have missed was setting expectations that it would take a while for me to settle in also. Not just our household goods, but school. Every year we've schooled I diligently prepare in the spring for our upcoming year. I was a little busy this year and now am having to pump for time well spent.
When we move it's usually about a 10 day affair from truck to pictures and hung curtains. We push hard, and then it is done. I usually have a few projects, of course the normal settling in routine as I locate new music lessons, orthodontist, ect.
So here we are past week seven, and I do not feel settled in, at all. The ironic thing is in London we received our four crates on a Tueday and Friday night I felt settled in. God was so good to let me feel that settled so quickly. I didn't have the resources that I do here. It was simply His grace.
It's really been a challenge for me, a spiritual exercise you might call it. Last Friday we thought we would receive all of our London things which meant for the first time in almost three years we would have all of our earthly belongings in one place. Well, except the things we have at Mother's and Daddy's in my room in Texas. That's a whole other story.
Seven crates is what we took, only two arrived on Friday. SIGH...they were split at the port heading out of London. This happened on the way too London also. We received four crates on the 4th of January and three more crates three weeks later.
It's such a vivid reminder that they are things. Stuff, granted, our stuff, but stuff none the less.
I don't struggle with thinking we'll never see it again. I think it will come, I just think it's coming in God's timing rather than mine.
My struggle has been the time I waste. Looking for something for twenty minutes only to realize it's in the London shipment part II. In all of our years of the Air Force I've never heard of a family receiving their household goods in FIVE deliveries. I'd been wanting several photos thinking they were on our laptop that had been sent to the lower 48 to fix. When I got it back my excitement turned into another opportunity to choose contentment realizing they were on the hard drive, that we don't have yet.
My struggle is the organized chaos. I have school books lined up neatly across the wall of the basement as neatly as possible that is. Of course little feet, or big feet, come crashing by. I brought 70 pounds of school books and supplies, but everything else is on it's way.
My struggle is there are things I can't cook and I forget. I jumped up Sunday morning to quickly whip Wyatt's birthday cake together only to quickly realize I didn't have my mixer or my vanilla. I've not purchased things for our kitchen that I know are coming. I hate wasting money and I really don't mind waiting. I just get bothered by forgetting.
My struggle is I'm tired of base furniture in my house. I know this is a very ungrateful attitude, I should just be so grateful. I've really chewed on this. Why does that big red couch bother me so? It's in the basement where people don't really even see it. I've decided it makes me feel out of control. Isn't that silly, but it's true. It's made me realize I like to control things much more than I think. The challenge is to share this with the Lord, and let Him change me.
He is...little by little. I am so grateful for these little opportunities in life to grow. I want to embrace them. I want to change.
This year the children and I are studying the Book of Isaiah. On Saturday I was at the gym running, and praying. As I was asking for peace for the things that remain unsettled in my life God quickly called Isaiah 1:24 to my heart, "The Lord, The Lord Almighty, the Mighty one of Israel". I said it about three times in my mind, and then I was completely overwhelmed. The tears came, my smile dawned broadly, and I even realized despite the music in my ears at one point I was quietly laughing. I can only imagine the sight I was.
"The Lord, The Lord Almighty, the Mighty one of Israel," is in control of my life. He is so much bigger than I can fathom. My picture is only a miniscule glimpse. I know my mind doesn't really even begin to wrap around that, but I know it's true. Why in the world He wants an intimate relationship with me? I struggle wrapping my mind around that even more, but I know it's true.
He orchestrates my days, listens to my frustration, loves our children more deeply than we do, knows exactly where my hard drive is, and the time our footboard is going to arrive. He provides for all my needs, interrupts my thoughts, guides me in our schooling, gives me His wisdom...and strength...and grace...the Mighty one of Israel. Whom shall I fear?
So for those moments, I had complete peace. Then I looked up at the ceiling to see this pipe that was marked "air supply". At this point I laughed again, even louder. He is the only reason I breathe and His supply is vastly immeasurable.
Today I had to borrow a blender and a pan to cook my rolls in. We're having lentil soup, rolls, and salad which is good thing as I need a little comfort food.
I've been sad today as a dear friend has a precious girl at their church who died on Saturday at 17. For a moment I could hardly take in a breath. Don't we all have that moment where we apply our own families to a tragic situation? I've prayed for this family today. I've really had a hard time keeping my mind on school. I know she is with the Lord and wouldn't want to come back, but her sweet family.
There are so many things I don't understand.
Today I'm just concentrating on what I do understand. The Lord, The Lord Almighty, the Mighty one of Israel is true. I thank Him for perspective, and reassurance, and patience. I thank Him for hope, and peace, and life.
Today is a day I'm just having to keep my eyes directly on Him, where they should always be. He is faithful though, and His air supply never ceases.
Love in Christ,
Dinah for The Troops
